


echoes

by river_of_words



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, gallifrey grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24648028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/river_of_words/pseuds/river_of_words
Summary: The Doctor goes to find Rose after the events of The Timeless Children.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 16
Kudos: 95





	echoes

The Doctor stood in the doorway of the Tardis. It was a normal street. A nice street. With normal, nice, houses. If she got the address right. She thought she had got the address right. Maybe better check. She turned back inside but the Tardis beeped at her. Warning, impatient, exasperated.

“Okay, okay!” She held up her hands in surrender and turned back to look outside again. This was good. This was fine. This was the right house. She was just going to walk over there and knock. Ring the doorbell? Ring if there was a doorbell, otherwise knock. Yes. She was going to do that...

Right...

Now...

Her foot hovered over the stone sidewalk.

Right...

Now....

The Tardis slammed the doors and made her stumble onto the pavement. She shot it a glare as she dusted herself off and muttered, “Rude.” The Tardis wheezed smugly from inside and the Doctor turned on her heel and marched towards number 14.

She was about to knock, but then saw there was a doorbell, so she pressed the doorbell. Didn’t hear anything. Try again? She tried again. Maybe the doorbell was broken? Or maybe she hadn’t pressed hard enough. She pressed it again, harder. Still no sound. Broken then. Or maybe she couldn’t hear the sound and she had no rung the doorbell three times in a row like some kind of rude impatient- well, those were not entirely inaccurate descriptions she supposed. Should she knock?

Maybe the doorbell _was_ broken. Or they just hadn’t heard. Or they were out. They could be out. Oh she hadn’t thought of that possiblity. What would she do then? She looked around the street. She doubted the Tardis would let her back in before she’d done what she came to do. Or more accurately, before she’d done what the Tardis had made her come here to do.

There was a little white wooden bench next to the door under the window. She could sit on that. Yes. She would sit on that and wait for them to come back. Was that weird? If they were both out, they might come back together. Oh that would definitely be weird. She didn’t want to see him. Her. Other her. Not-her other her. She looked around again, quickly. There was no-one around. No-one had seen her yet. She should go. She should hide. Behind a tree. There were no trees. Behind the Tardis. That wouldn’t be any use, it stood in the middle of the street. She should have parked the Tardis somewhere else, out of sight. She should not be-

The door opened and the Doctor jumped and tripped and almost fell over before catching herself.

“Whoa!” Rose’s eyes fell on the Doctor’s deer-in-the-headlights face, then to the Tardis barely five meter behind her. She really should have parked somewhere else.

Rose was wide-eyed with shock and the Doctor thought it was probably on her to take a stab at composure. Or a greeting at least. It was her who knocked on the door after all, it was probably polite.

She gave a weak little wave. “Hiya, Rose.”

Rose blinked herself back to life at that. “Doctor,” it was both a question and a statement.

“Yes,” both confirmation and request.

Rose glanced back inside involuntarily.

“Is- is he here?” the Doctor asked.

“Yeah, he’s-“ Rose stepped out of the doorframe and half-closed the door behind her. “-in the backyard. What-“

The Doctor hesitated, looked back at the Tardis. “I- I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry, I’ll-“ She turned to leave but Rose grabbed her arm and turned her back toward her. They were the same size now. Rose’s beautiful big brown eyes level with hers.

“Leave? No! Are you mad? What- How- Why- I don’t even know where to start. You idiot!” Rose was both crying and laughing and absolutely fantastic either way and the Doctor felt her own eyes well up and her hearts burst looking at her.

“Rose Tyler. I’ve missed you so much.”

Rose threw her arms around the Doctor’s but backed off when the Doctor stiffened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“No, no, no, you didn’t.” The Doctor stepped forward and softly took Rose’s hands. “I just got out of the habit a bit.”

“What, of hugging?” Rose frowned.

The Doctor looked down at their joint hands. “Yeah, I suppose.” Then looked up at Rose again, brighter, cheerier. “So I’m not exactly sure how long it’s-“

“12 years.”

The Doctor nodded slowly. 12 years for Rose. What an obscenely short time. And unbearably long to think of Rose living all that time without her, changing without her, forgetting about her. Ugh, jealousy. That wasn’t very nice. She had no right to talk anyway, how long had it been for her? “12 years.”

“Yep.”

“That’s- Good- good years?”

Rose smiled. “Very good years. We’re very happy.”

“We- You, you and- Other me, not me.”

“Corin.”

The Doctor raised her eyebrows. “Ah, that’s- yeah I suppose he wouldn’t be called Doctor would he?” She almost succeeded at a smile.

“He’s not you.”

The Doctor didn’t know what to make of the sharpness in Rose’s voice.

“I know, that’s why I said-“

“Yeah, just. He’s not you.” Rose softened again, smiling. “So what have I missed? This is new, right?” Rose said, gesturing with her head to the Doctor’s general appearance.

The Doctor frowned for a moment in puzzlement before realizing and looking down at herself.

“Oh! Yeah, haven’t done this before.” She looked up at Rose again with something like nervousness. “Do you like it?”

Rose grinned widely. “I love it.”

“Oh!” The Doctor’s whole body relaxed with relief, slumping a little and then bouncing back up. “That’s good to hear. You know, I wasn’t sure if it suited me. Wasn’t really expecting it to be honest. But I think I’m pulling it off.”

Rose was still grinning and looked her up and down. “Definitely.”

The Doctor squirmed, not knowing what to do with this kind of attention. She had been good at flirting once. “Oi, my eyes are up here!”

“Sorry,” Rose didn’t sound apologetic. “So how do you like it?”

“Good! Very good! Well, I say good. For the most part. It’s true what they say about the pockets but I got my coat for that. And I got tried for a witch a little bit, but it all worked out in the end.”

“Got someone to keep you out of trouble then?”

“Yes!” the Doctor beamed, “My fa- my fam, I mean- my friends, Ryan, Graham and Yaz. Met them on my first day actually. They- They’re so good, so great. So brave, of course. Ryan likes to push any button in sight.”

Rose snorted. “Well, you got that in common.”

The Doctor rolled her eyes. “Graham complains we don’t eat enough regular meals.”

Rose considered, “You know, you were actually quite bad about that.”

The Doctor’s mouth fell open in offense. “Oh, right, I’ll show you all of time and space, and if you get hungry, I’ll just put the current emergency on pause so you can eat your lunch!”

Rose laughed, “Remember that stuff they had on that space station with the devil?”

“Oh yeah! You actually liked that didn’t you?”

“I was starving! I would’ve eaten anything they’d served me.”

The Doctor laughed, “Graham brings sandwiches with him.”

“Smart guy.”

“Yeah...” The Doctor looked like she was doing some kind of complicated sum in her head.

“What?”

“I’m not _that_ bad.”

“Are you _counting_ the number of times you’ve given your companions something to eat?”

“Yeah, and-“ Rose cut her off by bursting out laughing. “Hey!”

“Honestly, Doctor, it’s fine, we don’t travel with you for the food.”

“It’s chips usually, isn’t it.”

Rose nodded and smiled, “Usually.”

They looked at each other for a moment, lost in a time that was different, but in almost all ways that mattered, also entirely the same.

Rose broke the silence with a sharp inhale, “I like the accent.”

“What?”

“Something old and familiar to go with the new look.”

The Doctor still had her eyes on Rose but wasn’t really looking at her anymore. Her gaze somewhere, somewhen, far away. Fond smile sliding off her face to leave something raw and breakable. “Well, you know, lots of planets...“

“Have a north.” Rose finished for her as the Doctor trailed off, tangled in memories. Rose smiled at her, bright, full of glassy-eyed nostalgia and the Doctor looked at her and saw her, 19 years old and so brave and fiery and incredible and wouldn’t accept his nonsense.

12 years

2000 years

4,5 billion years

passed in a moment or had never passed at all because she was here again. Fresh from the ruins of her home. And she had just pressed a button, or hadn’t pressed a button, or almost pressed a button, or _someone_ had pressed a button. What did it matter who. What did it matter when. It always happened and she was always there. Again and again and again. Trapped in a home she had sworn to leave with a _friend_ -

An unexpected sob cleaved through her body so viciously it might have been taking revenge for every time she had denied it.

“I fixed it, Rose.” Her voice was broken and she sagged and crumpled but Rose had her. Rose was there and held her. She didn’t ask questions. Just held her as she cried with grief Rose didn’t even know about yet but also knew entirely too well because it was the same grief. Different but the same because it was her fault. Her fault again. She had-

“I _fixed_ it.” But it didn’t matter because he had done it again because she had let him live because she had let herself live.

Rose hugged her tighter. It was good and oh so familiar and it was wrong because the last time she had let her friends hold her they weren’t even her real friends, they were glass avatars of the memories of the friends who died because of _her_ because she _failed_ them, because she couldn’t win, because honestly when did she ever even win anymore, and Rose had a life here, she was intruding, she shouldn’t have come, there wasn’t place here for her, this wasn’t for her, she wasn’t allowed this.

She pushed herself away but Rose caught her hand and gently pulled her to the little wooden bench stood beside the door. They sat down and the Doctor shrunk away far into herself. She saw only red ruins. She smelled only smoke. A child, multiple children, too many children, dying and living and dying and living. Trapped in a home, in a life. Her thumb hovered over Rose’s hand where Rose held hers. Rose grabbed her trembling arms like she was taking something off her. Responsibility, a button, a bomb. As if she was saying, I’m here, I’ll take care of it. Because why should _she_ have to do it?! Why was it always _her_ fault?! Why couldn’t it ever be anybody else’s turn?! It wasn’t fair!

The Doctor looked up at Rose. Rose looked back with patience and understanding and said:

“Tell me.”


End file.
